I must be a Spiritual Gangster!!

I need to be a spiritual gangster today in a really bad way. I’ve been breathing one deep breath after another & NOTHING seems to be working on this heavy dread I have in my chest. That is where I carry my frustration & anxiety. Why there? Maybe my heart is afraid of being hurt again. What is so troubling? There is a family wedding today where I will be seeing my mother & brothers whom I haven’t spoken with in awhile.

My Mother. I have struggled w/ this relationship my entire life. My mother & I have gone back & forth over the years, speaking, not speaking, laughter, anger, jealousy, love, hate, friends, enemies; until it became a natural, normal way to live. I became so good at it that I didn’t even realize that it was affecting me. It was normal to feel this way.

Recently though, I became aware of how much this back & forth was affecting me. I don’t want to continue this dance anymore. It would be great if we could just keep the dance going when things are good, but we’ve proved over & over again that we cannot. I’ve been trying to master that my entire life. And thus, I have been doing battle my whole life. And I can battle no more.

Battle is too stressful. I realized how stress was affecting me, so I decided to remove myself from these unwinnable battles & eliminate stress in my life. It was a hard, sad decision that I struggled with. Everyone else seemed comfortable with this dance. I was the only one who had a problem with this exhausting dance. I needed to learn a new dance. So I let someone else cut in & I stepped away.

My brothers. I can’t explain their arrogance & ignorance & judgments. If that is what they have to offer me, I have no room for it in my life anymore.

I’ve been feeling great with yoga & therapy. I started focusing more on myself & what was good for me! I feel more confident, positive, Iighter & better than ever before. Until last night that is. I started feeling some intense anxiety & no matter how many deep breaths I took, or mantras I said, it wouldn’t go away.

I struggled for months about going to this wedding. I finally made a decision to just go to the reception, for 2 hours at the very most. I don’t HAVE to go at all. It’s my choice. But right now, I just feel that 2 hours of stress (not including all the stress leading up to this) will be easier than a life time of blame. Blame is tricky & I haven’t yet mastered that.

So today I plan on going to 2 yoga sessions in a row to prepare for this spiritual battle. I plan to release this stress & find some peace. Then I plan on holding this peace all day long, along with Fletch’s hand, and taking it with me into this stressful situation. I plan to be a spiritual gangster and hold my head high & smile brightly! I can do this!!

Peace, Peace, Peace & Namaste!

Yoga Rocks the Park! OM~aha! wk #4

I had planned to get my blog done early this week but I was struggling w/ how to write about last week’s yoga led by Melanie McLeod. I’m not really sure how to describe the 4th week of Yoga Rocks the Park. I guess you could say it was a little more straight forward & not nearly as playful as the last 3 weeks. I think I even heard her say “Some people are still not stretching their leg out…..”

Uh oh! I was hoping I wasn’t gonna be in trouble for taking a spot underneath a shade tree up front instead of getting in line with the other 229 yogi’s that made it this week. It made me wonder why she wasn’t calling out those who I thought were doing Cobra wrong. It looked like everyone was doing Upward Facing Dog. Since then, I found out there are 2 ways to do Cobra, either from the elbows, or your hands. I personally think from the elbows is a little harder & gives you a different stretch all together. Either way, you do what your body will allow in yoga!

The soft breezy acoustics of Calla Denker & Heather Newman went well with the slight breeze I was feeling in the shade. They played a lot of tunes we all know & love but they were done in such a delicate way that you almost didn’t recognize them. As when Rhythm Collective played No Woman No Cry, I once again sang along, “Everything's gonna be alright, Ev'rything's gonna be alright, Ev'rything's gonna be alright….” However this time I shed no tears. I truly believe everything IS gonna be alright & this time I sang along with a big positive smile! It’s awesome how yoga can change your mind set in just a few short weeks.

I thought it might be packed & hard to find a parking spot due to the College World Series, but it was easier than usual. Maybe it was the heat? It was so hot last Sunday that even my cell phone couldn’t take it. No video & some of my yoga pics were missing? This should be the perfect park, in about 20 years, for YRP & cell phones too, when the trees will provide enough shade for all & let only a little bit of sun peek through. But for now we’ve finally hit Summer Solstice on Tuesday & it’s only gonna get hotter my friends!

 
But just remember, there’s always a refreshing Mango or Pomegranate Margarita, served up in a huge thick martini glass, just waiting for you at Cantina Laredo. This is where my girls & I have found that we enjoying going after YRP. Last week, we enjoyed complimentary Queso Laredo w/ free chips & salsa, an order of freshly made guacamole & 4 Ice Teas, all for only $20! That’s $5 a piece. And we were full! Or you could try a ‘Yoga Rocks the Park’ cocktail at Crave. Or Blanc has an extensive beer selection.

I’m excited for YRP this coming Sunday, which will be led by Jenn Chiarelli & where the sounds will be provided by dj tres johnson of lowercase sounds. Jenn is currently based in Scottsdale, Arizona. When I saw that she teaches a Vinyasa flow class that integrates her background as a dancer & her love of yoga, I was intrigued. Although not a professional dancer myself, I love to dance & do it so much that I’ve been called “Dancin’ Vic”. You will also get to experience the deep house & ambient, downtempo, jazz that Tres broadcasts live every Sunday from his home studio on lowercase sounds from 6-9pm. His music gets me dancing, so that, along w/ Jenn’s style should be an interesting combination!

Yesterday in my local yoga class, my intention was 'Peace'. Then I started repeating the mantra "It is what is", but then all of a sudden & unintentionally, I noticed I was repeating 'Spiritual Gangster' because I felt like one!   Now I really want a Spiritual Gangster t-shirt! I know I'd wear it everyday! Except Fletch might get gangster & kick my ass if I buy more yoga stuff. Maybe he'll reward me w/ one at the end of YRP! Once again, I will be crossing my fingers & legs in Sukhasana for an SG Tee!!

Peace, Love & Namaste!

Yoga Rocks the Park! OM~aha! wk #3

We arrived at Yoga Rocks the Park stress free this week & just in time to stroll in with our bohemian son, Brent Crampton, the DJ today. If you were paying attention last week, you’d know that he calls us his bohemian parents. And terrible parents are we, because we didn't even take any photos.

Brent usually weaves loom, a monthly dance event, and soon will be opening House of Loom. Last week though, Brent weaved some relaxing beats for some 471 colorful yogis. He created a beautiful back drop for Yoga Rocks the Park. For last Sunday only, Yoga Weaved the Park! Everyone’s breathing weaved together, as we all became one in the sun, inhaling the fresh air, as blades of grass weaved through our fingers & toes and stretched up to the sky. It was such an organic experience.

Once again, the voice of yoga inspired me this last week. That voice belongs to Lora Haase, who as I've said, helped bring YRP to OM~aha & teaches at Lotus House of Yoga. Her voice is so uplifting & energetic, she exudes happiness, her smile is contagious and her child-like enthusiasm made for some very fun yoga. She urged us to not be so serious, to let go of perfection and just be playful. That was very easy to do with her jokes about how we only had 108 more poses to go. The laughter & smiles of that many yogis at once was a hopeful sign that when we all become one, we CAN change the world!

No more tears for me. I have been practicing yoga for only a few weeks & already I feel the difference. Not just in my body, but in my mind & my outlook on life. My body is slowly becoming stronger & more flexible. Mentally though, things are changing more quickly. I am grateful & appreciative for even the challenges I have. They have awaken me to take charge of my life & I am so very thankful for that.

When I first started yoga, it was upsetting to know how weak my body had become. I didn’t think I would, or could, ever be strong again. But earlier this week, I had a vision of myself in the not so distant future. I am strong & healthy & happy! That vision made me feel more positive & it energized me to make that vision a reality!
Although I am still having a balance issue, especially on the uneven ground at the park, I am committed to going to YRP every week. If it’s too hot, I will find a shade tree to yoga under. If it’s too bumpy, I may try the sidewalk. And if I’m still unable to yoga, I will relax in the grass, enjoy the music & soak up the healing energy floating about.

The forecast is hot & sunny this week so I just may be looking for that shade tree yet. I will also be celebrating Father's Day somewhere in Midtown Crossing & you may get a chance to meet the father of groovic. This will also be the first weekend of the College World Series, so welcome baseball fans & out-of-town yogis! Yoga will be led by Melanie McLeod, who currently teaches at Midtown Crossing’s Prairie Life Fitness. And music will be provided by Calla Denker & Heather Newman.

Peace, Love & Namaste

Yoga Rocks the Park! OM~aha! wk #2

  The 3rd Yoga Rocks the Park is hours away & I haven’t even written about last week’s yet. My focus was elsewhere. Last Sunday morning an issue arose that really irked Fletch & I both. Fletch had lots of work so I met up w/ my girlfriends. Spiritual Gangster had shirts available for a suggested donation & I would love to say I finally got one, but the one I was hoping for, wasn’t there. Plus it’s really hard for me to shop or do much of anything when it’s 400 degrees outside. 

I laid out my mat, alongside 367 other hot sweaty yogi’s. Alex Austin, of Phoenix, was the yoga instructor. All I remember about Alex is his voice. I could listen to him talk all day about just about anything, even football. The way he enunciated each word & stretched them deeply, as if they were doing yoga poses themselves was just mesmerizing. The best comparison I’ve been able to come up with is a cross between Matthew McConaughy & Eric Roberts. I still can’t get his voice out of my head a week later.


As wonderful as Alex was, I couldn’t last more than maybe 15 minutes in that heat. I’m not a wuss but heat is no good for me & I should avoid it. But there are too many fun things to do in the heat. I started out w/ a beach towel over my mat this week, as I kept slipping last week. A few minutes into yoga, I was slipping on the smooth surface of the beach towel, so I broke pose & flipped it over to the rougher side, urrrr.. A few more minutes go by & now I’m slipping on this side too. So once again, I broke pose & got rid of the beach towel all together, grrrr. Back to just the mat. It wasn’t long at all before my feet were sticking to the mat, picking it up w/ every move since it was so darn sticky hot out, GRRRR. I finally threw the mat aside & opted for au naturale on the grass. Ahhh, the smell of fresh grass & the feel of it between my fingers & toes was sweet. Now I can get back to enjoying Alex. After a bit I’m all the way down w/ each little blade of grass poking in my face & up my nose. That’s it. I’m too hot, too frustrated & I clearly haven’t been able to let go of this morning’s upset. So I rolled up my mat, grabbed my stuff & headed for shade.

I strolled from tree to shaded tree taking pics. I really enjoyed The Mitch Gettman Band as they played very airy & dreamily. It was perfect for yoga. I just wish I could’ve experienced it all together. Again this week, Tres was painting some more amazing art nearby. Not far from there were lots of little ones spinning hula hoops or making things out of salt dough at Kids Camp. Salt dough is to be baked in oven to let harden. Need I say, it was hot as an oven outside!

 

 Afterwards, my girls & I decided to forgo Crave this week & opted for some fresh Guacamole, made table-side, and some Mango & Pomegranate Margaritas at Cantina Laredo, where everything was reasonably priced, plus they give you as much chips & salsa as you want, absolutely free! It was just the thing I needed to wash down my frustrations & laugh! A perfect ending to some yoga in the hot sun! After that, Amber & I planked on the wall at Midtown Crossing.

Much more tolerable temps are expected today, but so are thunderstorms. I am looking forward to instruction by Lora Haase, who we have to thank for bringing YRP to Omaha. She teaches at Lotus. Providing sounds for the landscape today is local DJ & creator of the monthly dance event "loom", Brent Crampton. I am proud to say that Brent refers to Fletch & I as his bohemian parents : ) & I am happy to tell you that he will be opening “House of Loom” very soon on 10th & Pacific.

Crossing my fingers & legs in Sukhasana for no rain!
Peace, Love & Namaste

Yoga Rocks the Park! OM~aha! wk #1

Yoga Rocks the Park was amazingly exhilarating & relaxing! And we needed a little relaxing yoga after it took 50 minutes to drive what normally is a 25minute drive from Glenwood to downtown OM~aha.

Fletch & I wanted to arrive early to get the lay of things since he was photographing the event & I was planning to write about it. We were way ahead of schedule but then 2 SUV cops pulled out right in front of us and we were road blocked for 20 minutes in order to let a motorcycle motorcade escorting a replica of the Memorial wall get by. I know its Memorial Day weekend but it’s not even the real wall, it’s a replica! It was frustrating, to say the very least. What a way to start a yoga experience. (Deep breath.....aaahhhhh)

 When we finally arrived, Fletch got scooped up right away to go take photos from the roof of the 9 story Midtown Crossing building, while I checked things out. Each sponsor had a booth and I was dying to check out Spiritual Gangster. They had some kick ass yoga related t-shirts made of that really soft comfortable cotton you could just live everyday in. I was all set to pick mine out but then she said words I never like to hear “They’re not for sale today.” What? They didn’t get the vending license yet but next week all sales are on. Whew! That was close. I can’t wait to check them out & the other vendors next week.

I would guess about 250 were there, although more had pre-registered online. (UPDATE: 326 yogis + 40 little yogis) It did look like it could rain though. Fortunately, it did not. Mary Clare Sweet, the lovely being from Lotus House of Yoga, led the first yoga class. She has such a sweet soothing voice & even though we were surrounded by condos & downtown traffic it was an oasis in the park. Rhythm Collective set the mood by creating some cool vibrations. And Tres Johnson of lowercase sounds, both a local artist & dj, was creating his own style of organic paintings in the background all throughout yoga. Go talk to him if you’d like to take a piece home to commemorate your Yoga Rocks the Park experience.

People from all walks came to check out Yoga Rocks the Park today, and not just yogi’s. People passing by stopped to just watch, enjoy the music, read as they relaxed in their lawn chairs, hang out on blankets and some even jumped in & did their own yoga poses as they posed & took pictures. And the kids at Kids Camp looked like they were having fun with yoga too & afterwards I saw plenty of painted little faces.

My personal experience with my 3rd try at yoga was wonderful mentally, physically & emotional, again, at the same time. When I set my intention, I felt like I was praying for something I have no control over. Then strength & determination would take over & I realized that I am in control. This is my mind & my body & I am the driver! And as I relaxed into Savasana, the final resting pose in yoga, & reassured myself by softly singing along to No Woman No Cry, “everything is gonna be all right, everything is gonna be all right, everything is gonna be all right, everything is gonna be all right….” it hit me again, as I shed a tear hoping that I was right.

A very diverse group of people came together today as one energy in the park, as felt by the final group Om at the end. That was really cool! I hope to keep this feeling all week & can’t wait for next Sunday with Alex Austin from Phoenix and local musicians, the Mitch Gettman Band.

Afterwards we went to Crave where the official after party was supposed to be. But it didn’t really have that party feel. I asked if there were any specials & the bartender said “no”. They did offer a drink called Yoga on the Rocks, but no special pricing or happy hour until 8pm, which was 2 hours away. I, personally, think 8pm is a late start time for happy hour on a Sunday & thought they could’ve done something a little more to impress some new yogi customers. They did say they are considering that for next week, so I will try again. If not, there’s many great restaurants in Midtown Crossing

Peace, Love & Namaste